The Block

I had lunch with a young friend yesterday and she asked what happened to my musings. “Oh, I don’t know….I just can’t seem to sit down long enough to write one.”

“I enjoyed them,” she said. “ Don’t you love to write?” (She writes the cutest blog.) “There’s something about writing that’s so neat, even if nobody reads it.”

Two long hot summer months yawn before me. The calm before the Fall storm. I know I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be because I asked God over and over and He kept giving me the same answer. I kept saying something like, “No, really….what do you want me to do this summer,” because I wasn’t crazy about His answer. About a week ago, I read a journal I jot in every once in awhile and realized how many times I’d asked. It was kind of like asking my son to advertize something on Craig’s List…”I will, I will,” and he doesn’t. But this was God. And He answered the first time. I realized that when I read what I’d written. I just didn’t like the answer.

So I’m home. With no inspiration to write. Pulling weeds. Going out to lunch.
Until yesterday. Amazing what God uses…and how He uses the body of Christ to put things into focus.

So she asked me, “Why aren’t you writing any more?”

This morning as I lay in bed thinking 4:00 is absolutely too early to get out of bed unless you’re a roofer and want to beat the sun, I began to think about that question so I ran it by God. This sermon I’d been listening to came to mind and in it the preacher had read a verse in Romans that says, “Present yourselves to God as those alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God.” So I began to do that….”Ok, God, I’m presenting my members as instruments of righteousness to You….except I’ve nothing to write…..nothing comes to mind. I’m dead in the water.”

“I know. There’s a block,” He said. And I knew then what the block was. I’d just shelved it and walked away.

Several months ago, I went to my hometown and had lunch with some girls I’d grown up with. One, I hadn’t seen for years. In the course of the conversation, she began to talk about her painting which she’d begun as an adult. She was quite good…it was a hobby. So I told her I wrote…just little musings, no big deal, just to explore my thoughts on paper so they won’t be random, out there…but pulled together, concise, arriving at a conclusion. “Send me some…I’d love to read them!”

I’d been telling my sister I needed an editor. “Why?” she asked, “who are you writing for?”

I sent my childhood friend a couple. It was like baking for someone and they write you a thank you note and say something like, “Thanks so much for coming over. We enjoyed your visit so much!” and the note is on the empty plate. Nothing about your wonderful confection. No accolades. No nothing…just the empty plate. Your conclusion is….they thought it was awful or in the very least, certainly not good enough to comment on!

My old friend’s response? “It was good to see you! Hope we can get together again!”

So at 4 a.m. God said, “Who are you writing for?”

I’m sure at some point He has asked Larnelle Harris, “Who are you singing for?”

A little bitty nobody person living in small town Alabama or famous singer on a national stage, “Are you performing or are you using what I’ve given you to bring Me glory, to thank Me so much for living in your heart, being an intimate part of your life, to praise Me for Who I am, if the entire world hears or no one but Me? Is it worth your time, just for Me…to sing it for Me, to write it for Me?”

We went to a church once that did not have a choir. The minister of music said something to the effect of, “Our music, as we sing corporately, as the Body of Christ, is for Him. As you are singing, it is as if you are singing to Him.” I will never forget that. It has changed forever how I sing in church. Now as I see people singing songs they’ve known for years and as they mouth the words, turn around and wave to people or casually look at the bulletin, I want to tap them on the shoulder and say, “Hey buddy! What in the world are you doing? Don’t you know you’re singing to God Almighty? ”

So who am I writing for?

I am writing to pull thoughts together in my mind that God has shown me. Whenever I finish, it usually never fails, I step back and go, “Whoa….Wow… You are so real…thank you thank you thank you, praise You praise You praise You.” And when I meet someone, talk with someone, what they get is a fresh faith because it’s been refreshed daily by contact with the living God , Who came into my life to have a relationship….with me.

So if only He sees this, that’s ok. It was for Him all the time, I just got sidetracked. By me.

What an incredibly patient God. Thank You for bringing me back.