Light

I went to the movies with some friends and should have walked out. Why didn’t I walk out? I’ve only walked out of two movies in my life. This should have been number three.

The next morning I pulled out my books to read and meditate and meet with God. I couldn’t do it. I felt so embarrassed at what I had been looking at. He knew what I’d been looking at. And I was expecting to sail into His presence and say "Fill ‘er up, God?" "Give me something good, God?"

This is an interesting topic. When I was growing up in the 50’s and 60’s, my mom used to either turn off the TV when a beer commercial came on or stand in front of it with the volume turned down. If there was any question about what they were advertising, it was laid to rest when my mom bolted out of the chair, lunging for the TV knob! "Oh, for PETE’S SAKE, Mother!" we moaned as we fell back in our chairs, eyes rolling back in our heads. Like turning the volume down would assure immunity from the evils of alcohol!

So what is it? I’ve heard statements like "I do not watch R rated movies. I do not drink liquor. I do not drink anything in a glass that looks like a liquor glass that may be construed as liquor. I do not say gosh because it may sound like god." Is this just not repulsive and arrogant? Like who are we trying to impress? How far do we split hairs? Where is the line and why is there a line and who drew it? How close can you get and be "ok"? Who exactly defines “ok?”

The only reason I even bring this up is because I talked to others who had seen this movie and they thought it was cute. Why was I so uncomfortable with God and they weren’t? They are believers too. Am I becoming my mother and have evolved so slowly into her, I didn’t realize it?!

I have really enjoyed writing. Never done it before. God’s word makes me think, ponder. I know if I am not plugged into Him, the word on the page will just be….words on a page. So I’ve been digging daily.... not for the answers to why Paul went to Troas and not Rome, but why a relationship with Jesus works and how you can learn from all my mistakes! I want my communication lines with Him be wide open. I’ve been drawing close to the Light expecting Him to talk to me. Knowing He would.

Light….this is what I have to turn on now and get up close to with my magnifier glasses which are on top of my contacts! And kids can read in almost complete darkness…amazing. Now light illumines, helps me see clearly, clarifies. I get up close to it so I don’t have to struggle to see. I want the light on.

The same with God. The closer I get to The Light, the more clearly I see. The Light clarifies. If I get up close, it’s not such a struggle to see...from His perspective.

And this Light is holy. Without sin. In fact, this Light hated sin so much, He sent His Son to die for the sins of the world so He could have a relationship with us…with me.

The most moving demonstration I saw of this was during a choir presentation one Easter. “Jesus” was on the cross, “dying.” The choir loft must have had 200 singers robed as angels with wings standing behind Jesus. Right before He died, as if they were one, they turned their backs on Jesus and the audience. There was total silence in the building for what seemed like eternity. And then Jesus cried out, "My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?" God had in essence, turned His back on Jesus because He was bearing the sins of the world and God could not look at sin, because He was holy. All of heaven looked away.

Then He died alone.

I sat in the silence with this graphic picture and the realization that this was Someone’s son dying a horrible death, all alone, completely forsaken, for my sin. Not the billions in the world…but for me.

Oswald Chambers says that "Jesus Christ hates the sin in people, and Calvary is the measure of His hatred."

Yes there are some black and white issues like murder, sex outside marriage, theft, but for gray areas like beer, snuff, vast quantities of rich food, I don’t think God hands out a "sin" list. You just draw close to the Light. If you are uncomfortable, don’t back away from the Light, back away from what you were doing when you started getting uncomfortable.

And your reasoning is not that points are going to be subtracted, or you don’t want to disappoint whoever has a list, but there is no way you’ll offend the One who means so much to you. Your relationship with Him cost Him too much.

The focus changes from the offending object to your dearest Friend.