Lord

Accepting Jesus is the easy part.

At some point, I realize that I am separated from God. No one has to tell me, I just know I cannot connect no matter how hard I try.

There is a void. I know I need a Savior and I want what only He can give...grace and peace, a relationship with the living God who created heaven and earth. Forgiveness. Acceptance. Love.

The Bible says that a gulf separates us from God and it’s caused by our sin...active or passive. The penalty for my sin is death and eternal separation from God. The only payment He accepts is Jesus’ death on the cross. Period.

I agree. I ask Jesus to be my Savior. I thank Him that His death paid the penalty for my sin. I ask Him to come into my heart and my life. He does. I am born into the family of God. He is now my Father. I am transferred from the kingdom of darkness to the kingdom of light. He seals me for all eternity with his Spirit who comes to live within me. A relationship is established. The connection is made.

This is a package deal, however. He becomes my Savior and Lord. Lord means master, boss, commanding officer who draws up the plans, makes the decisions, tells the troops what to do, how to do it, where to go and when. I am the tall blonde soldier on the third row saying, "Yes Sir."

The old hymn says "May my will be lost in Thine." May my will be absorbed by Your will...so whatever you want, as Lord of my life, I want too. And when I say this, I am not just going through the motions because He’s bigger than me. My will is bent on doing what He wants because I want to. I am convinced He knows best, that only He knows the future and how whatever I’m facing will best fit into His plan. And He knows me.

It does not mean that I never fall out of formation and say, "Now wait a minute.....I don’t want that; I don’t like that idea; that will hurt too much; that will never work; that costs me too much. What will people say? I have a better idea." And then proceed to tell the God of the entire universe my plan...what would make me happy and fulfill my deepest needs and those of my family and how to pull it off.

Sometimes I do...but in time, I come to my senses. Like who’s smarter.

"Lord" comes pretty easily when your husband loves you, there’s enough money, the kids are doing well in school with lots of nice friends, everyone is healthy. You sing with abandon.

But what if your husband does not love you, there is not enough money, your kids have fallen off the deep end, the technician comes out into the waiting room after your mammogram and says, "Can you wait please, the doctor needs to talk with you." "May my will be lost in Thine" takes on a whole new meaning.

He says, "Trust Me, My ways are perfect." But how do you trust Him as your Lord?

You have to know Him to trust Him.

We have moved about 12 times in our marriage. You always go back to square one making new friends when you move to a new town. You don’t just pop into a group of women and become "friends". It takes spending time together to develop a friendship, There has to be lots of sharing, lots of living life together, a history.

Same with God. It takes one on one time, quietly at His feet, sharing your thoughts and joys and fears. Getting to know him in his word. Laying our petitions at His feet... Almighty, Majestic, Holy God....and our Father. My goal is to want what He wants...what will give Him the most glory. My goal is that in the midst of crisis, He’s the first one I think to call.

I remind myself that the One I’m trusting, my Father, never changes, loves me beyond my wildest dreams, will never leave me, will never get old and out of touch, will never move away, will never die. His understanding of me, my situation, my needs, my desires, is infinite.

I can parrot those words. And we often do. But I need to be solidly convinced that this is true. I need an unshakeable, bedrock confidence in this truth so when a crisis comes, He is my solid rock and I know it. I can not convince you of it. Only He can. And he does it one on one. Just you and He.

As your Master, as your CO, as your Lord, He is fully qualified to make the calls and clearly communicate them to you. Hopefully our response will be, "I have no clue why the wait, how this is going to work, why You are doing it this way, but count me in. My will is dead center in the middle of yours. I can’t wait to see how You’re going to pull this off."

May our wills be lost in His.