Why Not

I was in a pharmacy yesterday talking to the pharmacist who is a friend. We had gone to Honduras together a couple of years ago on a medical dental mission trip. He said, “Man, I just hate I couldn’t go this year. I wish I could have gone; I miss it so much, don’t you?”

I stood there looking at him not knowing what to say. I’ve never been really quick on my feet. Give me a couple of hours and I’ll have a five page speech ready, but spur of the moment often leaves me staring at people when what I want to say and what they want to hear, conflicts.

Like…do they really want to know? When people say, “Hey! How are you?” Do they really want to know? Usually not. “Not too good…my husband beat me up last night right before my son called from jail, drunk…. again, to see if I could come get him out.” I think one day I’m going to say that just to see what they say. Like when you’re standing around with a bunch of ladies impressed with who all’s husband does what, and it’s my turn and everyone turns to me. Just once I’d like to say, “He works for the sanitation department…was there only ten years before he got his own truck. He’s usually pretty stinky when he comes home but I’m just so proud of him!” And just smile.

I digress. There was a pregnant pause, and I knew the answer. The answer he was poised, waiting to hear was, “Oh yeah…dying that I couldn’t go this year.” Then he would have nodded with satisfaction and thanked me for my business and he’d have gone back to work and I’d have gone home. Why do I bring this stuff home with me? Why can’t I just give “the answer?”

The real answer is …. God didn’t tell me to go to Honduras this year. He told me to stay home. I don’t know how to write that noise that the buzzer makes when the team has the wrong answer…but insert it here. He talked to you? Why would He tell you not to go? Don’t you remember how poor those people are and so blessed by any medical or dental care…why wouldn’t He want you to go? Of course He’d want you to go.

Why not apply that to two year olds or junior high kids. “Do you have a job this year?” “Nope.” “Oh you would be so perfect teaching two year olds! They all love you, you’ve had a two year old so you’re experienced, you’re always here anyway, teaching is your gift, and since you don’t have grandchildren, you’d love it; we really need a teacher so badly; no matter what you do, they’re happy and some are even potty trained.”

So what we’ve done is list pros and cons basically. And our bottom line if not guilt is why not. I don’t have a real good answer why I shouldn’t. I guess I should. They need me.

Do I lay all these reasons before Him? He knows them without me telling Him, right? Or do I wait until He tells me and then go to the lady and tell her, “God told me not to do this.” Here’s what you’ll get to that response….a blank look like she’s thinking, “It wasn’t God who told you not to do this.” She won’t say that but she will ask you why. If you tell her you don’t know, He just said no, she’ll just nod , “Oh.” A very pregnant with meaning “oh.”

I’m not talking about unbelievers here…I’m talking about committed, church going, Bible reading followers of Christ. Now every once in awhile you’ll run into someone who “knows.” You’ll say, “I asked God specifically if I should do this and He said no.” And they’ll hug your neck and say, “Well, honey, you sure don’t need to do it then but thanks so much for asking Him!”

I’m not sure if we think God doesn’t have an opinion, is mute or if He knows and/or cares, He’s unable to communicate His position on the issue. Sounds awful when you write it down, but bottom line, isn’t that what comes across when we follow the reasoning of the person trying to talk you into teaching two year olds?

For sure no one ever said, “I’m sure God doesn’t have an opinion on this issue, it’s your call.” Or, “I’m not sure He is aware of this opening, but if He is, He really doesn’t care one way or the other if you do it.” Or, “God doesn’t really talk to people about stuff like this…this is a no brainer. Besides of course He wouldn’t tell someone not to teach two year olds, He created them and wants them to know Jesus, right? I’m sure you won’t hear Him say that.” Never happen.

What she will throw in at the end is, “You pray about it and let us know, ok?” In other words, once you’ve reflected on the reasons I’ve given you, make your decision and then ask God to bless it.

Or….let’s say you pray before you begin reflecting on her reasons, “God, please tell me clearly if You want me to teach this class.”

I’ve been told twice to stay home for a period of time…no work, no nothing. Crystal clear both times and very difficult to explain both times because I didn’t have a really good reason other than, God’s telling me to stay home. Well, why? No idea. It sounds so unchurchy, like such a slug, like look at all the needs and you’re not filling even one of them, doing your share, pulling your weight.

I’m not following blindly…I’m following someone I talk with all day long who is immense, and capable and has a plan extending from the beginning of eternity until the end, long after I’ve vanished like a wisp of smoke.

What if I teach two year olds and it wasn’t in His master plan and I miss out on the part I was supposed to be doing? What if I could teach two year olds in my sleep, it came so easy to me, but that part of His plan I was supposed to do, I was totally inept meaning I had to hang onto Him for dear life, trusting Him to work through me ….which gives me the opportunity to see a big God be really big in my life…which gives me the opportunity to give him so much praise and so much glory? Why would I want to miss that?

So, I troop back to the pharmacy for the next prescription and say, “I thought about your question and the answer is I didn’t go because God told me to do something else.” Maybe he’ll understand. Maybe he won’t. No matter….I’m on an adventure. So often, I’ve just been playing like I was. This is the real deal….and it’s hard! It’s hard to wait and watch and listen and ….wait some more…and then explain while people look at you like…”oooook.”

Makes you wonder, doesn’t it…am I living life to please them…or please Him?